Sunday, April 26, 2015

Ready For the Extreeeeeme!!!!

Extreme Rules
Extreme Rules
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by WWECUADOR
So, here we go again, with my predictions.  Anyone who's been following me knows that every pay per view event the WWE offers, recently, I offer my two-cents on, not just who'll probably win, but what the extracurriculars may be.  And that is where the fun is.

So far, I've done a number of event, Wrestlemania, Fastlane, and The Royal Rumble.  Check those links to see how badly I did in my predictions.  However, I am still convinced that I am very good at this.

So, without further ado, here are my predictions for April 26, 2015 edition of Extreme Rules.

First, and foremost, I want to get this out of the way.  The way things are lined up for this WWE Pay-Per-View event, it's beginning to look a good bit, like not one single belt will change hands this month.  That's kind of a shame, but whatever.

Tyson Kidd & Cesaro Vs The New Day, For the Tag-Team Champions Belts

This one seems like a no-brainer.  The New Day is barely a passable tag-team at best.  So, I can't imagine them getting the belts.  Their popularity is in the toilet, and I can't even figure out why it's them getting this shot, rather than the Lucha Dragons, other than the fact that they've recently gone bad.

Winner: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro, to retain the belts.

This one's sort of lame.  I don't even really like either of these two tag-teams.  The only thing interesting, will be the cheating that will probably come from Natalya and the third New Day guy who's name I can't even remember.  Anyway, wake me up when this match ends.

John Cena Vs Rusev, For the United States Champions Belt

This one, again, is kind of a snooze-fest.  I'm not interested in either of these two, especially since this is just a rematch of their Wrestlemania match, that saw Cena take the belt from Rusev.

Winner: John Cena

I just can't see the belt moving back to Rusev at this point.  In fact, I really wish that some up-and-comer, like NEVILLE, would actually be the one getting this shot.  Much like the above tag-team match, the best part of this match will be Lana--SHUT UP!!

Daniel Bryan Vs Bad News Barrett, For the Intercontinental Champions Belt

I'm not really sure why this match hasn't happened already.  Bad News Barrett just doesn't seem like he's really got it all together, anymore.  The thought of him beating the Yes-Man just isn't there.  He can't beat Dolph Ziggler or Dean Ambrose in a fair match, so this is kind of laughable.

Anyway, I have heard a rumor that Daniel Bryan is suffering more trouble with his real neck injury.  That is why...

Winner: NO ONE!!!

The reason is, I don't believe this match will happen.  I think it will be cancelled due to Daniel Bryan's health concerns.

But even if it did, there's no way Barrett beats Bryan for the IC title.  Can anyone remember Barrett's last win?  Me neither.

Dolph Ziggler Vs Sheamus, Kiss Me Arse Match

Dolph Ziggler, WWE
Dolph Ziggler, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by Marc Benton
This is the match with the stipulation that the loser much kiss the winners buttocks.  I got to say, this one kind of throws me for a loop.  I can't even imagine it happening, because normally when these types of matches occur, someone is left dazed, and unconscious from a finishing move on the mat, so I'm not sure how this butt-kissing will occur.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

The reason is, The Show Off just seems to win these crucial matches, and in the present state of things, Sheamus has yet to lose since coming back with this new attitude.  And a win by Dolph will convincingly complete this feud, so Sheamus can move on to challenge Daniel Bryan for the IC belt.

Along with this, I very much doubt that Sheamus will be kissing Dolph's butt.  I'm betting he gets out of it somehow.

Nikki Bella Vs Naomi, For the Divas Championship Belt

This one's kind of a no-brainer, because Naomi's not really over with the crowd, or much of a name on the roster, yet.  Nikki Bella is the number one name on the roster with Paige out.

Winner: Nikki Bella

This will be a short match, and I'll give Naomi a good showing, but in the end, the Bellas will win, possible with some interference from Brie.  Nobody else is getting the belt until Paige gets back in the fold.

Roman Reigns Vs Big Show, Last Man Standing Match

A last man standing match, is one in which the winner has to incapacitate the loser for a ten-count.  These battles between Reigns and Big Show are getting a little ridiculous.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Everyone knows, Big Show can't beat the Big Dog, anymore.  He'll get a big punch, and possibly a choke slam on Reigns, but Reigns will come out the winner, add Superman-Punch, followed by a Spear.  You know the drill.

Dean Ambrose Vs Luke Harper, Chicago Street Fight

A Chicago Street Fight is actually a No Disqualifications Match.  This one is going to be a doozy, as every match with Ambrose is.  I loved his all out battles with Bray Wyatt, and how we get to see the same thing against Harper.

Winner: Luke Harper

Now, in case you've never read any of my other articles, I'll explain.  I love Ambrose, and I always think he's the man, but in the big fights, he never actually gets the win.  He seems more concerned with nailing the big moves, at his own detriment, which is part of what makes him awesome.

In a Miracle on 34th Street Fight with Bray Wyatt, he jumped off a ladder and put Bray through a table,  but Wyatt still landed Sister Abigail, and got the win.  Later, in an Ambulance match between the two, Ambrose jumped off the ambulance, and floored the New Face of Fear, but Wyatt again, still got the win.

Do you see where I'm going here.  Ambrose is looking for damage, not the win.  So, there's that.  Go Dean Ambrose!!!

Seth Rollins Vs Randy Orton, WWE Championship match in a cage, with no RKOs

Seth Rollins, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by Anton
First off, I knew they'd have a cage match, go ahead and ask my wife.  I told her as soon as I heard about the match.  Secondly, I love the RKO, so I'm not really looking forward to an RKOless match with the Apex Predator.

Also, part of this match, J&J Security will be outside the gate, and Kane will be the gatekeeper.

Winner: Seth Rollins

There's been a lot going back and forth about Rollins and Kane not getting along, but I'm seeing this actually working against Randy Orton instead of Rollins.  In another cage match, I saw Rollins scale the cage faster than I've ever seen anyone before.  Rollins will get up and out of the cage, and win that way.  He won't need Kane, the gatekeeper.

Also, with no RKO, The Apex Predator won't be near as vicious as he usually is.  Rollins will likely wind up looking like a weany, but he'll come out the winner, and retain his belt.

Notes:

Bray Wyatt has been dropping clues as to his next target.  Who could it be?  One of the vignettes sounded a lot like Triple H, and that would be a nasty feud, if the New Face of Fear went after the top man of the WWE himself.  But in another vignette he talked about weights, and that made me think of Ryback, for some reason.  I kind of don't feel like this one's as clear as his calling out the Undertaker.  It almost feels like WWE is just waiting to see how some other things unfold to reveal who it really is, so they can't change it up, just in case someone else is a better fit.  Anyway, the two guys on my list are, Triple H and Ryback, for now.

Sasha Banks and Paige, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by Megan Elice Meadows
This pay-per-view seems kind of weak, because it almost feels like there's no real contenders for any of the belts.  I'm not really pulling for anyone.  I'd really like to see someone new in the fold, especially in the Divas Division.  Maybe it's time to call up Charlotte or Sasha Banks to challenge the Bellas.  With AJ Lee leaving, it can't just be the Bellas versus Paige forever.  If the WWE wants to give the Divas a chance, they need to add a whole lot more story, and character.

Along with this being a weak pay-per-view, it's called Extreme Rules, and none of the matches seem as extreme as I'd like them to be.  Each one is a one-on-one match--no triple-threats, no fatal-four-ways.  I'm hoping the Russian Chain Match for the United States Champions belt turns out to be something fun, but the Kiss Me Arse Match, sounds a little cheesy.  I'm hoping for some huge battles to make up for what seems like a fairly simple pay-per-view.

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