Sunday, January 25, 2015

The Royal Rumble Is Almost Here! My Predictions!

Daniel Bryan, WWE
Daniel Bryan, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by Megan elice Meadows
Sunday night, in Philadelphia, PA, will be the 2015 Royal Rumble, which will set up the championship match for Wrestlemania on March 29, 2015.

Some people know, I've become somewhat of a WWE fan in the past year, and although I won't be at the Royal Rumble, I will most definitely be watching.

Now, I'll admit, I'm an older man, and I certainly don't watch wrestling for the excitement of wondering who is going to win.  The truth is, I almost nearly watch with a preconceived idea of who will win.  It's not about the winners and losers.  I just watch for the entertainment.

But one thing is, I've become rather proficient at picking the outcomes, and since the Royal Rumble is a big event, I'd like to make a few predictions on the matches.

New Day vs Adam Rose, Cesaro and Tyson

This is a six-man tag-team match, and it's a rivalry that's been over-used in the last few weeks.  I'm not sure how many times these guys have faced off, however, I do believe New Day has always won, and they are likely to win this one.

Winner: New Day

However, that's not really a prediction.  The prediction I'd like to make is, the most entertaining part of this fight will be watching the women who travel to the ring with Adam Rose, Cesaro and Tyson Kid shake their booty's.  Everything after that will be a snoozefest.  New Day and the other three nobodies should be put to bed.

The Ascension vs New Age Outlaws

The Ascension was originally cast as being one of the most dominant tag-teams to enter the WWE, since the Road Warriors, however, all they've done is behave like bafoons, and lose matches.

The New Age Outlaws have outlived their time, and they aren't likely to win this match, but The Ascension beating them will be kind of like watching Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on Sponge Bob try to win a wrestling match.

Winner: The Ascension

But my real prediction for this match is, if The Ascension doesn't beat a legitimate tag-team, like The Usos, forget about them ever rising to the top.  They will forever be a sideshow.

Natalya and Paige vs the Bella Twins

This match sees the first belt appear, and likely will be the first match with any real relevance.  The divas of WWE don't usually get much time to wrestle, and they don't get to develop any kind of decent rivalries, but the Bella Twins have been the hot item among the divas for some time, now.

But since Paige exploded from NXT, won the Divas Championship belt from AJ Lee, it appears that she is the rising star, and a rivalry has brewed between her and Nikki Bella.  Natalya and Paige have had their way with the Bella Twins in recent weeks, and they will probably do it again this week.

Winner: Natalya and Paige

The real prediction, however, is Stephanie McMahon will likely make an appearance, and indicate that this victory demonstrates that Paige is the number one contender, and at Wrestlemania, Nikki Bella will have to defend her Divas title against Paige.


The Usos vs The Miz and Mizdow

The Usos are the current tag-team champions, and they'll have to defend their titles against the tag-team they won it against, The Miz and, and his quirky stunt-double, Mizdow.

The Usos have easily handled The Miz in the past, and they recently tried to sew the seeds of dissension into their opponents by telling Mizdow to be his own man.  What really makes this strange is The Miz and Mizdow, are both entrants in the later 30-man Royal Rumble main event, so how can they put up much of a fight here, and then expect to win the Royal Rumble.

Winner: The Usos

However, my real prediction, is that The Miz and Mizdow will continue their bafoonary, and this will be their final match as a tag-team.  Mizdow will go on to eliminate The Miz in the Royal Rumble event, and all in attendance will cheer.  HURRAAAAAY FOR MIZDOW!!!

Unfortunately for Mizdow, this will mean he will go back to being the disconnected B-list wrestler he was before.

John Cena, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by edin designs

3-Way Threat Match, Brock Lesnar vs John Cena vs Mr. Money in the Bank, Seth Rollins

This is one of the matches I'm really looking forward to, and after what John Cena did on Raw the previous week, I am even more excited.  Something like that doesn't happen just to have a guy lose his title shot--not in WWE, anyway.

So, I expect that this match will be long, full of action, back-stabbing, curb-stomping, top-rope jumping and all sorts of body throwing.  I also expect The Authority to get their dirty little hands involved.

The thing here is, I've come to realize that Brock Lesnar isn't much of a WWE wrestler, or a champion.  Sure, he's a physical speciman of perfection, but hand him a microphone, and don't expect much.

Also, I learned that Brock Lesnar is leaving the WWE in March to rejoin the UFC, where all he needs are his muscles, not his brain.  He can handle that.  So, I'm thinking someone else will win the belt, right here, and headline Wrestlemania on March 29.

Winner: John Cena

But, whoa whoa whoa, not so fast.  I did say that The Authority would probably get involved, and that is my prediction, here.  The face of the company, the champion, will have just enough time to stand shirtless and soaked in sweat swaying from the excessive body-slams, to hold the belt up to the crowd, before...

BIG SHOW, KANE, J&J SECURITY AND MR. MONEY IN THE BANK himself, get involved.  They'll gang up on him, and sucker punch him, until Rollins inevitable curb-stomps him into unconsciousness.  Then, with Cena down motionless, the evil Rollins will cash in the briefcase for another shot at the title, right then and there.


30-Man Royal Rumble Match, Main Event

Going into something like this, there's plenty to think about.  There are a number of cool names to consider as possible winners, but there was a bit of a give away this past Thursday, on Smackdown.

On Smackdown, Daniel Bryan, in order to qualify for the Royal Rumble match, had to defeat Kane in a no-disqualifications match.  To try and ensure victory, Kane brought J&J Security with him to help from ring-side.

The two smallish security guards were not enough, as the buzz-saw, Daniel Bryan took down J&J, and then pinned Kane.  His victory set off a sneak attack from Big Show, that brought Bryan into a 4-on-1 beatdown that also included Kane and J&J.

The other wrestlers that had to qualify, however, came to Bryan's rescue, that included Dolff Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowen.  More wrestlers poured out of the back, and into the ring, until it was probably thirty-men, all shoving one-another out.

The last standing men, were Ziggler, Ryback, Bryan, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns, with Kane and Big Show on the apron.  These are the who's who of who actually matters.  However, not all of them actually will.

I've already predicted that Seth Rollins will win the championship belt, and the winner of this match will face him at Wrestlemania, it needs to be someone that will make sense.  Big Show and Kane will obviously be gone.  Ziggler, Ryback and Rowen have different rivalries, so Rollins isn't in their picture.

The three relevant players are Bryan, Ambrose and Reigns.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Reigns is the favorite, but you don't fight off Kane as well as J&J Security for the win, to come up short.  At least not in the WWE.

I look forward to seeing Daniel Bryan versus Seth Rollins at Wrestemania.

Daniel Bryan, WWE
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons License by Megan elice Meadows

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